Surprising Behaviors That People Find Attractive Around The World

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Human attraction works in mysterious ways. How and why we are attracted to each other can be incredibly intricate and complicated. From seasoned anthropologists to burgeoning bloggers to love-themed reality television stars, tons of people dedicate their time and energy attempting to suss out some universal truths about what human beings find attractive. Though Charles Darwin waxed poetic about how he believed mate selection was entirely dependent on looks, we now know that there is much more to the story of what makes us interested in a potential partner.

First of all, standards of beauty can be merely trends that are susceptible to cultural shifts. Practices that were once considered gorgeous like footbinding or tweezing eyebrows into oblivion proved to be passing fads. According to Psychology Today, the reasons behind why we want who we want can be super complex and include a mixture of looks, behavior, and chemistry. And, of course, there are some behaviors that seem to be considered attractive to most everyone on the planet, like being kind and being a good listener.

Keeping all that in mind, it starts to get really interesting when we take a deep dive into all the unique and surprising behaviors that people around the world find attractive.

Some humans find it super sexy to be able to speak in multiple languages. In 2018, Babbel released findings from a survey of 6,000 folks from around the world that showed that 75 percent of responders find being multilingual attractive. 

What may come as even more of a surprise is that it appears that speaking multiple languages beats out appearances in terms of what people find more attractive in a mate. According to Babbel blog post, "Nearly all (93%) of the respondents agreed that a partner with language skills was much more appealing than a partner with a 6-pack/athletic build."

In addition to upping the romantic game, multiple languages can have cognitive and career benefits. But according to a 2001 Gallop poll, only about one in four Americans can hold a conversation in another language. Fortunately, as Babbel reported, "If you're lacking the skills, it's never too late to learn." So, just what language should you learn to get ahead in romance? According to Babbel, French got the top spot "as the most attractive language," while Spanish and Italian were "neck and neck for second."

Moving to the beat is known to spark love connections on dance floors all over the world. But in some cultures, it isn't necessarily dancing with a partner that sparks the match. Instead, performing dances is the preferred method of wooing a potential mate. 

We know that the animal kingdom incorporates dance into mating rituals (like birds of paradise) and while this ad hilariously depicts humans imitating the smooth moves of our animal kin, it might come as a surprise that humans can exhibit similar behaviors on the quest for love.

According to the BBC, the Wodaabe tribe of Africa put on beauty contests called Gerewol. The celebration involves eligible bachelors performing the art of Yaake dance for the single ladies of the tribe. Danish anthropologist Mette Bovin detailed in her book Nomads Who Cultivate Beauty that the dance moves emulate that of the cattle egret, a culturally significant bird to the tribe. The dance is done to attract the attention of the ladies. As a contestant told the BBC, "You dance Gerewol to try to win a lover, even if it is stealing someone's wife," noting, "You can marry her, or have a fling with her."

While on the subject of scents, culinary smells are known to be enticing in many cultures. But there's one particularly wild food smell that is held in highest regard in the Dogon tribe from Mali of West Africa. According to Cultural Survival magazine, for decades, onions have grown to be a central cash crop and they play an integral role in everyday life for the tribe.

Author of The Smell Report, Kate Fox wrote that members of the Dogon tribe believe that sound and smell are interrelated as they both travel via the air. They believe that "good speech," meaning appropriate grammar and pronunciation, smells good, and pleasant odors in this culture are considered to be cooking smell. Fox detailed the culture's affinity for onions, noting, "For the Dogon, the scent of onion is by far the most attractive fragrance a young man or woman can wear."

To that end, "young Dogon men and women will fry the onion plant in butter and rub it all over their bodies as a perfume," according to Aroma: The Cultural History of Smell.

Gift giving can certainly up the ante in an attempt to woo a mate. Many ancient and modern courtship rituals involve gift giving from both sexes. Lavish presents like the bling Richard Gere presented to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman are known to impress. Food, clothing, jewelry, livestock, you name it — it has been given as a gift in the quest for love. Psychology Today revealed that there have been many scientific studies on the matter.

But surprisingly in the South Pacific, certain cultures hold one particular handmade craft in the highest regard: mat weaving.

In the Philippines, we know that men attempt to up their profile by serving their lady's family, but there is more to the story on Santiago Island. In the village of Salud, locals dedicate themselves to the art of mat weaving. Not only are the mats an export of the area, but their creation is key to attraction. According to the Manila Bulletin, village elders said that "every bachelor here who intends to court a woman must first know how to process the buri leaves for weaving." They then join with their potential love to weave the mats together under the watchful eye of the woman's mother.

It might be a surprise to learn that the flute comes into play in the realm of alluring behaviors. Historically, in tribes like the Lakota, suitors would play intricately carved woodwinds to woo potential love interests, mimicking an elk's whistling call. According to the Wisconsin Historical Society, for the Woodland tribes, "a young man would arrive in the evening outside of her family's home and play a beautiful love song on his courting flute. The pleasing tones of the instrument, rising and falling in slow sliding cadences, served to entice her into falling in love with him."

While Ed Wapp Jr, an instructor at the Institute of American Indian Arts, stated that few learned to craft and play the courting flute for some time, there looks to be a resurgence of folks picking up the hobby. According to the Wisconsin Historical Society, "Today, flute players can be heard playing traditional love songs as well as new compositions at tribal fairs and pow-wows across North America."

As reported by Psychology Today, a recent study out of Poland showed that women do not necessarily find men with tattoos more attractive. This isn't universally true, though. The ancient art of facial tattooing has been around for thousands of years and is found in pockets of cultures around the world, even if not known for its widespread use. 

In Inuit culture, a woman possessing facial tattoos was considered very attractive. According to author Ashleigh Gaul in Uphere magazine, "It was mainly a women's art. Just like the saying goes, 'you can't take a wife until you've learned how to build an igloo' a girl wasn't marriageable until her face was marked..." Gaul further explained that the tattoos served to show that the woman had "learned the essential women's skills," such as "how to chop ice and melt it for water" and "make and repair sealskin boots."

Tattoo artist Mike Austin told Gaul about a resurgence of the practice in the modern era after the tradition fell off due to western influence. He stated, "They're taking the old tattoos and they're starting to do different stuff with them. They're not necessarily traditional designs, but they have a traditional feel."